Working Through Pain

I’m sifting through my back pages
For they have been around for ages
How do I deal with darkness within
The book of memory I am thinking?

Does the pain overwhelm my desire
To overcome such a painful fire
That burns in my breast, being heavy
Is caused by twisted thoughts really.

Like looking through a photo album
I see the pictures that only sum
Up how they pain me, but not why,
The reasons are obscured but I try.

Time and again I am knocked about
With the deeds and words I shout
From within but no one hears me,
Did I deserve others to abuse me?

What did I do that they cut me up
What excuse can they put in my cup
As I sip teas of disturbing scenes
That play out inside my head mean.

What price are friendships on the rocks
As havoc is played mixing the shocks
I get from toxic minds and hearts
Did I miss something, what is my part?

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